Have you ever had this feeling that something big is about to happen? You can’t really nail it down. In fact, it drives you crazy trying to make it take form, like looking through a thick fog, so you can identify it. I’ve had that feeling since shortly before Christmas. Don’t know what it is. But I’m open to it. Waiting for it. Looking for it. Anxious for it.
And, have you ever had the experience that everything you read seems to point you in one direction? Like, you’d have to be really dense to not pick up on all the stars aligning just for you. This has been happening to me recently. It started with signing up for Suzi Blu’s Petite Dolls workshop. In a series of videos, Suzi shows her techniques for her sweet, yet shabby, girls. The drawings are folksy, stylized, and have so much personality. They really appeal to me. I’m still learning and practicing, and when I’ve progressed to a comfortable point, I’ll share pictures of what I’ve done. But what I’ve really come away with from watching her videos is the encouragement that I can do this. Not the cheerleader kind of rah-rah, but a sincerity that comes from knowing. She knows it’s possible for me to do what she does. (And, she’s good!)
So, now that I know that I can (eventually) make art like Suzi’s, I’m also thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can do some other things, too. So, one thing leads to another, as they do, and I’m reading “Taking Flight” by Kelli Rae Roberts, a book of interviews with other artists, mostly mixed media, about their artistic journeys and overcoming their doubts and fears. And every one that I’ve read so far has said something that really resonates with me, where I am right now. One thing I’m beginning to understand is that there will always be doubts and fear, but time and experience enable you to deal with it.
Then, this morning, while doing my usual catch-up on reading email, and taking the time to read blogs that interest me, I came across Jennifer Edwards’ blog drawn2life.wordpress.com. I consider Jennifer to be an accomplished artist, and yet she experiences the dark side too. She said, “if there are many creative ideas swirling around in one’s head and heart, the noise becomes deafening, the desire becomes oppressive, the shut-down thought of “why even bother” gets louder and louder too.” I really do identify with this. I have periods of envisioning all kinds of creative endeavors, but then I just get overwhelmed with trying to make them all happen. Then I just feel deflated and say what’s the use. JE goes on to quote Julia Cameron and say that we need to take baby steps. And I am not by nature a “baby steps” kind of person. I’m more of the “Athena-springing-forth-fully-grown-and-clothed-in-armor” kind of person. I do tend to overthink things, and usually end up convincing myself that I “can’t”, and shouldn’t even try. You can read the full post here. I, however, am not a goddess, so I am going to try those baby steps. I think my word of intention for this year is “Act”. Just do it. This blog is a good example. I haven’t even made my custom header yet. Or created a list of other blogs I enjoy and follow. Or any of the other dressing-up I’d like to do. But, I started the blog. And now I have 2 posts!
A lot of rambling (not too disjointed I hope), just to pass along some encouragement I’ve received, in the hope that you may be encouraged, too.